The Last Appetite

Author: Phil Lees

  • When fried chicken went awry

    He still puts on a white linen suit every morning, rides in a chauffeured white Cadillac, visits Kentucky Fried Chicken’s white column headquarters and plugs his “finger lickin’ good” chicken around the country.

    But Harland D Sanders, everyone’s favourite Kentucky colonel, is disturbed about what has happened to his chicken and to America’s dining habits.

    While it sounds like an alternate history from Adbusters archives, it’s from an interview with Sanders in The Milwaukee Journal, 1975. You know something has gone terribly wrong with food when the mascot starts decrying it.

  • Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

    Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

    ‘;
    print “$text”;
    print ‘

    ‘;

    print ‘

    “;
    ?>

    Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.

  • Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator Twitter Bot

    I’ve just released a new bot into the wild, who invents a new name for a Melbourne restaurant twice a day, just like the Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator but delivered directly to the loving bosom of your twitter feed.

    Follow it for regular, nonsensical updates.

  • Police on an Olympic Doughnut break, Footscray

    Sampling Victoria’s finest jam doughnuts in downtown [tag]Footscray[/tag]

  • Footscray Market Opening Hours – Christmas 2011

    Footscray Market Opening Hours – Christmas 2011

    Another year down, another year where my local market, [tag]Footscray Market[/tag], fails to build a website. Opening hours for the market over the Christmas/New Year’s period are:

    Saturday 24 December (Christmas Eve): 7:00am-5:00pm
    25-27 December: Closed
    Wednesday 28 December: 7:00am – 4:00pm
    Thursday 29 December: 7:00am – 6:00pm
    Friday 30 December: 7:00am – 7:00pm
    Saturday 31 December: 7:00am – 5:00pm
    1-2 January 2012: Closed
    Tuesday 3 January: 7:00am – 4:00pm

    The regular opening hours for Footscray Market continue to be:

    Tuesday and Wednesday – 7:00am-4:00pm
    Thursday – 7:00am-6:00pm
    Friday – 7:00am-8:00pm
    Saturday – 7:00am-4:00pm

  • NGO Development Program Generator

    In my last post Dr Maytel requested something that would generate development issues, and seeing that I’d neglected to send her (or anyone) a Christmas card and about half of my friends work for non-government organisations, here it is. You should hassle the UN to support:

    “;
    print “$text $text2 $text3”;
    print “

    “;
    print ‘

    “;
    ?>

    Press reload to inspire a new development program

  • 2012 Food Trend Generator

    Once again, it is the time of the year when food journalists wheel out the world’s worst portmanteau, the listicle, and predict where food trends will head in 2012. For a writer, they’re brilliant content. No editor is going to sack you if Cambodian does not become the new Thai or the world’s predicted hottest restaurant closes. Your audience does not hold you accountable if the hot food destination that you suggest collapses into civil war. So why not let a machine do the work?

    Here’s my automatically generated predictions for the hot food trends of 2012. If they come true, you owe me money.


  • May contain traces of glutton.

    May contain traces of glutton

    Spotted on a packet of pork and cabbage dumplings, [tag]Footscray[/tag]